


Tsuna's Record Log of Manliness

by yokainomiko



Series: Too Many Women [10]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Female Guardians, Gen, Genderswap, Journal Style Madness, Lots of KY Tsuna, Probably better grammar than Tsuna is capable of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:17:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3093092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yokainomiko/pseuds/yokainomiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsuna's life changed forever when Reborn entered his life.  It got even worse when all his guardians (except one) wound up being women.  This is for those of you who wanted to know how Tsuna felt about all these new people in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just an FYI, this story will never be completed. It's just a silly thing I wrote for snorts and giggles. Also, I'm continuing my trend of terrible titles. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> For now the chapters are in chronological order, but that'll probably change.

Series: KHR (Katekyo Hitman Reborn)  
Pairing/Character(s): Vongola Tenth Generation, All27  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Word Count: 707 (This Part)

\-------------------------------------

Dear Super Ultra Manly Diary,

How are you? It's been a while since I last wrote in here but I skimmed the last few entries and they're all basically the same. Not anymore! Nope! Diary, now my life is going to be terrible and Dame-Tsuna will have lots of different and awful things to write about. 

To start with, I am writing under Mom's bed right now. She did wind up buying and installing a desk lamp down here and it is nice. Mom has good taste.

Why am I down here? I'm hiding from the evilest baby ever. A baby hitman named Reborn. Apparently this spawn (I learned a new word!) of Satan is my new tutor and he's going to make me a Pokemon Master/Mafia Boss. I didn't get what was going on at all so he asked Mom for help. Mom said that video game speak works when she needs me to get stuff but I guess that Reborn isn't that good at video games. He tried using books at first but I don't read foreign books.

So Reborn said I have to catch all of the famiglia members and be the best like no one ever was. It was a weird way to say things, I think he watched the English dub of the anime? He didn't know IV's or Natures or anything useful. I didn't get it at first but his Pokemon metaphors made sort of sense after a while. Kinda. 

The problem is that Reborn expects me to catch people without a starter and he's sending me to the trainer school of embarrassment. I don't think that makes sense. Hopefully since he gives me my mafia balls I'll understand things better. I don't know how you can keep people inside anything so that'll help.

So far Reborn says I'm not manly enough to have balls (I don't know if he means what I think he means) and that he'll give me credit for some (Where do I use this?) once I get a girlfriend.

Mom's really happy that he isn't just making me a "leader" but is also teaching me about girls. She wishes I was a girl sometimes. If I got a girlfriend, I guess it would be just as good.

I told him that no one would ever date Dame-Tsuna but he said that he noticed at least one potential girlfriend/pokemon. I think? I don't know if the pokemon thing is supposed to make me a playboy or if it's supposed to make me a mafia boss or what. I guess I'll know soon enough. I have no idea how all of this relates atm.

Sorry I was gone for a bit. I heard a noise and I was scared that Reborn found my hideout but it was just Mom. She gave me some snacks. I have the best Mom.

I told her that I might not be leaving anytime soon. When I was busy being confused Reborn told me to ask Yamamoto-san to go on a date with me. When I said no he said to ask her to go on an adventure with me. I feel like there's a meaning I'm missing to that phrasing but since I don't go on adventures and talking to girls terrifies me, I said no again.

When I was fleeing he shot me. I cannot underline that phrase enough. That's right he shot me! Right in the head. I should be dead right now. I wish I was dead. The bullet he shot me with was magic or something. It turned off all of my clothes and made me lose my indoor voice that Mom made me work so hard on teaching me. As I was screaming in the hallway I got filled with the need to tell Yamamoto-san that she was the cutest girl in my year. Luckily unluckily??? when I was looking for her I ran into Hibari-san. She threw a tonfa at my head and I fell on the ground.

Reborn says he's going to keep shooting me until I can prove that I'm the best Mafia Boss ever. I still don't get what this has to do with girls and Pokemon and manliness.


	2. Chapter 2

\-------------------------------------

Dear Journal,

Reborn kept his promise D: He shot me again but instead of telling Yamamoto-san I thought she was pretty, I tried to tell Hibari-san she was pretty. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I’m pretty sure I should be in a hospital for self-harming tendencies.

Luckily??? Hibari-san took one look at my lack of clothes and fled while muttering something about public indecency. When I was running from her Disciplinary Members I knocked over Mochida-senpai when she was flirting with Sasagawa-kun.

I think... she might kill me tomorrow.

Reborn told me she wasn't good enough to put in my main party but I should box her for later.

When Sasagawa-san (who was looking for her little brother) heard him she challenged me to a boxing match.

Geez, I hope Mochida-senpai kills me so that I won't have to box Sasagawa-san. I think I'd die then too. better to die sooner


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so Tsuna starts to collect friends.

\-------------------------------------

:(

Reborn put an alligator under Mom's bed. I'm in the attic now with a flashlight.

Today was bad. Mochida-senpai said I was gay and trying to steal Sasagawa-kun from her.

She challenged me to a kendo match to save his honor. I wanted to forfeit but Reborn said okay. I hate him.

Anyway Mochida-senpai's family owns a dojo so I guess she's amazing at kendo. I immediately knew I was dooomed but Reborn shot me again and I won... somehow

I managed to suppress the memory. Sasagawa-kun said I have to call him Kyohei-kun from now on because we're family now. He says to call Sasagawa-san, Neesan too. Whatever it was I forgot has to be amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're at the stage of things when we get to start seeing how oblivious Tsuna is! Yaaaaay! This means that there will be lots of suffering from an unreliable narrator. It's going to be hard to keep this in character, but I will try my best. Honestly, this whole fic is a way for me to continue to write in this universe without thinking carefully about characterization and plot. 
> 
> Since this is an easier format for me than my other stories, this is the best place to get a snapshot of how Tsuna feels about such and such in the plot. Please don't hesitate to make requests. Just remember that these chapters are _short_.


	4. Chapter 4

\-------------------------------------

Dear Record Log,

Reborn says it's okay to keep records of things but that journals and diaries are girly He is watching to make sure I don't sound Dame-Tsuna-Like. Reborn is always watching. I am starting to learn that there will be no peace as long as Reborn is in my life and he says he will be there forever.

Anyway, life with Reborn ~~is the worst~~ is an adventure. Hibari-san has been very upset with me because of all of the public indecency. She won't even beat me up herself anymore. Her disciplinary members are very angry that I defiled their princess... somehow. Reborn is very interested in a violent "princess." I do not want to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still experimenting with the multi-chapter function of AO3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connects to "Becoming Hanako Gokudera"

Dear Record Log (I don't know how this is different from dear diary but whatever)

I tried to suppress today's events as well but Reborn won't let me. There is a crazy woman in the house and she won't stop baking.

It started with school today. We got a new student named Gokudera Hanako. She's my height (it's weird to see a girl not taller than me) and has long silver hair and bright green eyes. The boys in my class are happy to have another pretty girl in our class. I was thinking more that she's really weird. She glared at me during her whole intro and she modified her uniform to look like one of those frilly people from the city.

Anyway, she tried to kill me after school. She said Reborn told her to. I screamed when she said it, but I'm not really surprised. I wish I had died. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this stuff anymore. She had these scary glass things that melted and burned stuff and sticks of dynamite. That's illegal isn't it???

Owwwwwwwwwww. Reborn says too much punctuation isn't manly :( Owx2 I guess faces aren't manly either.

So she tried to kill me. I was pretty sure she was going to. I made a mental list of who'd miss me and everything. The list wasn't long. Mom, and maybe Reborn might miss making me confused and unhappy. But before I could die, Reborn shot me again. Luckily no one was around to report me to Hibari-san. When I was all burny I could avoid her attacks and it made her really mad.

She wound up almost dying and I guess I saved her life. No biggie.

But because she's crazy she said that because I saved her she has to follow me forever and be my right hand man. I told her she was a girl but she says that her dad trained her to be tough and manly. I guess skulls are manly? She says her clothes prove how manly she is but frills, ribbons, and skulls don't make me think manly. Is that why I'm not manly? I need those things?

Reborn says I just need to not be me.

Anyway, she followed me home and now she's baking with my mom. I'm so confused.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of oblivious!Tsuna <333

Dear Record Log,

Today Gokudera-san showed up at my house before I even woke up to walk to school with me. Mom told me she was glad I had such a cute girlfriend. 

I said sorry to Gokudera-san later but she said she wasn't mad. I don't know how anyone could be happy to be my girlfriend.

Kyohei-kun and Neechan said they were glad that I had new friends, but Gokudera-san didn't seem glad to meet them.

I think I heard her mutter, "I should be Tenth's one and only," but I'm probably wrong.

Oh yeah, she calls me “Tenth” now. Because I'm the Gen X future pokemon master of the Vongola Region or something. Reborn says that he gave me Gokudera-san to be my starter but I have to catch the rest of my main party on my own.

Gokudera-san says she's happy to wear pokemon ears if it'll help me understand the pokemon comparison better. I told her no, but I caught her doodling herself doing different attacks and naming them.

She also asked me what I like in girls. I think it's so she can avoid being my type so people won't think we're dating. I said that I liked girls like Yamamoto-san because she's pretty, tall, and everyone likes her.

I tried to make sure to pick someone who wasn't like her so that she wouldn't have to work too hard to not be like the girls I like. Since this is a record log and not a diary, I'm not sure if this is the right place to say this but I've had a huuuge crush on Yamamoto-san since middle school started.

She's just so pretty and athletic. I think it's amazing how not clumsy she is. She's also probably as tall as I dream of being one day. AND she smiles at me. She's so nice. But it's really hard to talk to her. The baseball team is really possessive of her and they keep her kind of alone. She looks lonely sometimes.

Gokudera-san was really mad when I talked about how great Yamamoto-san is. She started yelling about how she was trained to make really fancy desserts and that she has a college degree and can play the piano. I told her how amazing that is and she ran away. Her face was really red when she ran away. I should probably tell her sorry again tomorrow for making her so mad.

Girls are weird.


	7. Chapter 7

I-I don't know, record log. Something beyond imagination happened today. It was like that moment when you're practicing combos and you get an amazing one by accident and you think that you've learned a really cool fighting move but it was actually just a fluke.

Basically, Yamamoto-san felt like my friend for a moment today. It had been a pretty ~~weird~~ normal day as per usual.

Gokudera-san was waiting with Mom when I got up in the morning to give me breakfast danishes. I'm not totally used to all of these Western breakfasts but it makes Mom happy to have someone help her in the kitchen and Reborn is generally in a better mood after Gokudera-san makes him ~~coffee~~ espresso, aka the best thing ever. I lied, Reborn is not nicer when he gets his drink.

So, I had my danish and royal milk tea (I don't know how to drink coffee but Gokudera-san insists that I have a western-ish drink with western breakfast) and then we went to school. Hibari-san glared at Gokudera-san because of her uniform changes and her Disciplinary Squad glared at me because my life sucks. I fell asleep in class and Gokudera-san threw a fit when the teacher tried to give me detention for it.

She threatened to burn his face off with chemical burns that would deform his skull but since she's so uhh, what was the word Mom used? dainty? the teacher just patted her on the head and decided not to send me to the office. It makes Gokudera-san mad when people treat her like she's cute. She's like a skitty that wants to be a tyranitar. Anyway, I tried to cheer her up by thanking her for getting me out of detention but she was so upset she went home early. As I said, a normal day.

During PE since Gokudera-san wasn't around, the guys were bugging me about whether or not we were dating and if she was err, well, it's not really okay to say out loud or write down. I didn't want to say anything and it was really uncomfortable. I don't like this new bullying. Yamamoto-san came to my rescue though this time and started talking about baseball because today was baseball day.

I don't really get why Yamamoto-san is in the boy's PE class but it only makes it worse that the guys say such rude stuff around her. It's like they don't even notice that she's a girl. Which is silly because she's way too pretty to treat like one of the guys. After PE was when my short awesome moment happened. 

I was stuck picking up after everyone since, y'know, Dame-Tsuna the guy who can't say no to anything, when Yamamoto-san started helping me. It was nice to have her around me. She's so much more normal than Gokudera-san.

Hmm, I just got this really terrible feeling when I finished writing that sentence. It's probably nothing.

Anyway, Yamamoto-san asked me if I wanted to hang out with her after school. I said no because I didn't want her to be around when I make a fool of myself again. She didn't seem to mind. I bet she was glad that I didn't agree, but it was cool. It was almost like I had friends. She talked to me about baseball and asked me for advice. I think that I will remember this moment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can totally imagine that if Gokudera in canon knew how he'd try to make all of Tsuna's meals for him. He calls his breakfast drink properly because off-screen he called it tea and she cried about how he didn't like it and thus gave it the wrong name.
> 
> Also, this is part 1 of 2 for Training as Yamamoto Takiko. Should I be making hyperlinks to those stories when they come up? Let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Record Log,

It's official. I cannot be trusted with anything. EVER. Yamamoto-san tried to kill herself today and it's all my fault. Luckily (and it's definitely lucky this time), Reborn shot me and I managed to save her in the nick of time.

Yamamoto-san says that makes us friends forever. It's nice to think about having a friend. I don't think I deserve a friend as nice as Yamamoto-san though.

She even asked for permission to call me Tsuna and asked me to call her Takiko. But that's... Uh, no, I think everyone would kill me if I called the school idol by her first name. I told her I could maybe call her Yamamoto with no suffix.

She said I could at least call her Takiko-chan but that is never ever going to happen.

Gokudera-san was really mad that I agreed to call Yamamoto-san just plain Yamamoto. I thought she of all people wouldn't be mad about me giving less respect to Yamamoto- ~~san~~ but I guess not.

Yamamoto invited me over to her house for sushi tomorrow. Gokudera-san says that she'll bring the dessert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 out 2 of Training with Yamamoto Takiko


	9. Chapter 9

How should I put this?

Today, Yamamoto pointed out that Gokudera-san should be my right hand woman since she’s, well, female.

Gokudera-san said that right hand woman implies that a man would be better suited for the work and that “man” refers to the title and not the gender of the person with it. She added that it was like how female actresses prefer to be called actors because special attention shouldn’t be drawn to gender.

I didn’t even know that I should call actresses, actors. No wonder why I’m Dame-Tsuna. I’ve been offending people left and right without even knowing. It’s like I’m a bully.

Anyway, then Yamamoto said that if Gokudera-san wanted to be judged without gender then she shouldn’t let people call her Gokudera-san.

I didn’t think about it before but I don’t like thinking. I’m bad at it. 

Gokudera-san got confused. Sometimes I forget that she isn’t really Japanese. I think it’s her name.

Apparently she thought “san” just meant more respect than “kun” which is sort of true but for our age “san” more is about being polite or something to girls. I mean, I know that stuff but you’re a journal so you probably don’t know.

Gokudera-san then decided that calling her Gokudera-san was an insult and demanded that I treat her like a man. I think she’s just lucky that people don’t call her something cutesy. ~~not that I think that she’s cute or anything. Oh God Reborn don’t hurt me please!~~

I for sure can’t use nicknames for girls. Mom would kill me if she thought I wasn’t treating girls the right way. She almost never gets mad but when she does…

I still don’t know what happened to that old man that made me cry when I was five. I’m not sure Mom didn’t kill Dad too for bringing that grandpa to our house. It was right before when he became a star.

Y’know, I’m kinda surprised that Reborn hasn’t hit me yet for not staying on topic. Maybe he’s given up on reading my journal?

Maybe he’s giving me a break because he embarrassed me a lot? Because of him I almost had to wear a dress in public. He said that if Gokudera-san wanted to be treated like a boy then she should dress like a boy.

I thought that was mean because Gokudera-san really likes her frilly people clothes. So I said that maybe guys wore skirts in the Vongola so Gokudera-san could wear whatever she wants.

She’d been ready to burn her skirt to show her dedication to me. (I don’t know why she thinks I’m worth being dedicated to). Yamamoto offered to lend me her old school uniforms to promote gender equality since she’s taller than me and Gokudera-san’s uniforms are all modified.

Sometimes Yamamoto is kind of mean too. Reborn was very excited to make me wear the girls uniform.

I had a moment of inspiration! I said I’d call Gokudera-san, Gokudera-kun. That way I wouldn’t be giving her extra gender attention! Like how people in Mom’s office dramas call the office ladies with “kun”.

Gokudera-san liked that idea and said she’d work harder at not getting confused about the Japanese culture. I don’t understand Italian at all so I don’t think she has to worry about me one-upping her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written solely because I wanted Tsuna to call Gokudera with "kun". There's also lots of my head canon in this entry.


	10. Chapter 10

I don’t have any idea how to start these things anymore. Reborn makes me so sad. Since he’s shown up, my life just gets worse and worse. I barely have any time to play video games anymore. I even do my hw sometimes.

Gokudera-kun says hw is important to err, “ensure that the information distributed during lecture is properly retained.”

She’s scary smart. I try really hard to remember when she gives me information.

I’m glad that Yamamoto at least is closer to my brain level 

Not that I understand her all the time either. She does some things that really confuse me sometimes. She gets really weird when people talk to me. Gokudera-kun says that her protectiveness is her only good trait. But she still says I shouldn’t trust Yamamoto.

I just like having friends. This mafia thing sucks.

I don’t know if Yamamoto knows what’s going on or not. I don’t think we told her. But then why would she feel the need to guard me?

I would not guard me.

Since it’s been awhile I guess I’ll make a Pokedex check.

Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto are sort of on my team. I’m pretty sure Neesan is too. Kyohei-kun might be a pokemon? Reborn says that that if I have Neesan then Kyohei-kun isn’t needed but they’re nothing alike.

Neesan is really warm and comforting. Kyohei-kun is more like scorching? He blinds people with his smile to keep people away.

Yamamoto’s smiles are nicer than Kyohei-kun’s. Her smiles like, take away your energy and instantly calm you. If anything, I think Kyohei-kun is like Reborn. I hope Reborn doesn’t figure that out.

He says he’s stopped reading my diary but I don’t know if he’s lying or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I run with the flame and personality traits that I wrote about in [Theme #6 Flame](http://archiveofourown.org/works/486747)


	11. Chapter 11

Well, today was… a day. I met my first gay person today.

He wore a skirt and knew gymnastics. At first I thought he was crossdressing for equality. Especially since he was obsessed with how I treat Reborn.

Reborn is a tiny demon to be treated with the wariness a demon deserves.

The person didn’t like my answer and challenged me to a duel. Then Gokudera-kun called him a really bad name.

It surprised me because she’s very sensitive about gay people.

Yamamoto said it was a rival so there’s an exception. I dunno what the rivalry is about. Maybe being the person to push gender equality? I still think there has to be a reason why a guy would wear a skirt willingly.

So I got challenged to a duel for being a bully. I knew that I was doing something wrong after hearing Gokudera-kun and Yamamoto talk about gender stuff.

Anyway, I got challenged to a duel. I kind of wanted Gokudera-kun to be my stand-in like in Harry Potter or like a Pokemon battle where Gokudera-kun is my pokemon and I’m the trainer. But before I could do anything, my challenger fell in the creek.

I think I learned how to swim because somehow I saved his life.

I guess I should write his name down. It’s uhh Haru. I only know because he speaks in third person. It could be short for something I guess.

Gokudera-kun tried to chase him away by telling him about the Vongola but he seemed really excited to design a mafia wife outfit.

I wonder what he needs it for. On the plus side, Yamamoto says she’ll stop trying to get me to wear her old uniforms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next main entry in this series was supposed to be Haru's introduction, but I had too much trouble starting it. You all get this instead.


End file.
